Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
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