it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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