Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
