I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
