Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
