I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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