I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
