it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
