How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
