I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
