I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
