they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
My ass is underappreciated
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
