I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
