I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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