Screwed.edu
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
