i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
tonight lets celebrate not being married
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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