he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
