To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
