Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
