I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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