Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
