You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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