I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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