The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
