i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
