I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
