Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
