the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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