how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
