That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
