Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
