her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
