just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
