it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I understand Curling. That high.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
