i think i have herpe
just one?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
PANTIES FOUND
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
