There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
are you so shy because you have an std?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
