There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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