so explain again why im purple
no
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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