She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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