What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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