lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
