You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
