So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
