i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
