I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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