Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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