It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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