i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
