Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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