Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
