The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
