Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
