I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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