oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
